Strangers Tend to Tell Me Things

People have been attracted to me for as long as I can remember – people wanting to talk; acquaintances, transients, customers, and most oft complete strangers. I’ve often wondered if there’s a secret sign on my forehead that reads: “Talk to me – I”ll listen.”

I noticed it a lot working in retail and attributed it to the idea that it was because I couldn’t leave/walk away from my station. There were times (especially working evenings in a record store) where I felt as though I was a pseudo-psychologist to those who would perch themselves in front of my counter. I didn’t mind and I learned a lot about numerous people I’d most likely never see again.

As a public transit commuter I encounter a variety of people in my daily travels. It doesn’t matter that I visibly wear headphones (listening to music), people are inherently drawn to engage in conversation with me. I happily oblige because, at this point in my life, I trust that each of these persons:

1. has something they need to get off his/her chest,
2. desires human connection in a time of loneliness, sadness, and/or social media,
3. has a valuable lesson or insight that I’m meant to hear.

The best part of this phenomenon – in my opinion – is that all I have to do is listen and occasionally acknowledge the person speaking. There’s nothing demanded of me – no one asks me questions (Where do you work? How was your weekend? What’s your name?), they just talk.

Here are a few of my favourite [recent] strangers. (*note: names have been changed)

Aldo: 78-year-old Italian man who takes the bus every morning at 6 a.m. to catch the shuttle to the casino. Has made quite a living for himself through gambling winnings, and enjoys expensive clothes and cuisines. He is the last member of his family. He is very proud of how handsome he looks on his driver’s license.

Peter: single, middle-aged man, living with his brother, in charge of creating passes/badges for Correctional Workers across Canada. Loves to play golf, travels to Montreal frequently to visit family (of 11) and watch the Habs. Lost his beloved dog in October but has ordered a new Collie puppy from the same breeders and will be picking it up in 8 weeks.

Hatim: South African who moved here with his (now divorced) wife, no children. Parents still in South African, sister and husband recently moved to Newfoundland. The family communicates primarily through Skype/FaceTime even though the mother is clinically blind. Works at Winners in the warehouse. Finds that marijuana edibles alleviate the symptoms of depression & anxiety his prescription medications cannot. Loves reading/sharing his daily horoscope (Gemini).

Kay: Jamaican cook who works at Lansdowne during the day and holds another job at night. Constantly smells of marijuana. Travels with friends on the afternoon bus, though they never sit next to each other; they prefer to fan out at the back of the bus to take up as much room as possible and to appear sinister. Favourite colour is pink. Has a hard time accepting rejection, and prefers to pass handwritten notes to ladies he favours.

Doreen: divorced, mid-60s brash and brazen woman who works for the same company I do. Smokes often and has the voice to prove it. Hates her daughter’s boyfriend and never misses an opportunity to use colourful loud language to describe him (he once forgot to pick up the turkey for Thanksgiving). Her mother is ill and spends a lot of time in the hospital. She is the only one of her siblings who takes care of her mother. Her birthday is May 17th, which she spends with her mother each year.

Jean-Claude: Jamaican jogger of city sidewalks, never wears appropriate running attire. Enrolled in Engineering at local Uni, lives with his brother and mother. Is very shy around women and prefers texting (or writing a message on his phone and passing it to you to read). English is his fourth language. Dirty Harry is his favourite movie. Enjoys running in the morning because it’s quieter and there are less people on the sidewalks.

Eran: single, middle-aged conspiracy theorist working at the same company as me. Loathes cellphones and social media (tracking!). Once saw a young girl nearly get killed because she was looking at her phone and walked out into oncoming traffic. Refuses to wear gloves in any temperature because he likes the feeling of losing feeling. Proudly owns a bright pink floral umbrella because he knows no one will steal it. Never wears a hat because he likes to feel the fresh air in his hair.

Yolanda: wife, mother, petrified of wet pavement that may or may not be black ice (who can tell?!). Born in Spain, hates to cook, mother lives two blocks away with assisted living, works for the government. Works from home on Fridays, which is also her night to cook (she usually makes pasta or sliders because they’re easy). Spends entire month of May in Spain each year with her family. Makes plans each week for ‘something to look forward to’ (i.e. facial, spa, pedicure, movie, shopping, etc.). Her ideal weekend is to stay in, read, and be left alone. She and her family have eaten at every single eatery in the neighbourhood. Some days chats my face off, other days completely ignores me.

Antonio: retired AirForce controller who still goes in to the office each day to help “train” new staff and help with the paperwork. Gets bored sitting at home all day. Divorced, three daughters (living in France, Montreal, and Winnipeg), loves to drive to the East coast. Owns a white Volkswagon bus and each year picks up hitch-hikers heading East. Always wears a fedora and tie, always carries an umbrella.

Fred: elderly Polish man, volunteers at soup kitchens, has a bum left leg, wears a shiny oversized navy blue parka. Chews Wrigley’s gum because it reminds him of going to baseball games with his dad. Observes people around him and is genuinely concerned about the younger generations walking into things (due to constantly having their heads buried in their phones).

Chester: Korean public transportation driver, early 40s, owns multiple rental residences across the city, has 2 sisters (whom are stuck up, entitled snobs), takes excellent care of his mother. His 4 year old nephew once told him a dirty joke: “some horses were playing in the mud.” Loves to drive and travel around the world. Wants to own real estate in Thailand, San Francisco, and Bermuda one day. Believes that all cultures have their own unique ‘smell’. Was in a car accident in July (other driver at fault) wherein he should have been killed, yet walked away without a scratch. Wants to get married and have kids but fears his time is running out.

These are just a small sample of the many fascinating individuals who approach me, just to chat. While I may not see them every day, and may not see some of them ever again, they’ve each shared with me subtle fragments of their lives and I am grateful to have heard them.

Simply, joy.